The great slavering jaws close about his throat, and his last cry of “Wolf!” is choked into a wet strangling sob, followed by the crunch of his esophagus being crushed and the snap of vertebrae breaking.


Benny Masterson was staring lazily out the plane window at the brightly lit cloudscape beyond when Bob The Pure and Just zoomed into view, pursued by the Cucumber Villain.

Masterson’s face lit up. He had a large collection of comics, posters, and other Bob the Pure and Just memoriabilia, and he had never seen his hero so close.

One of the Cucumber Villain’s dark green, stripey missiles missed Bob the Pure and Just and hit the plane dead center. Masterson was flung back hard against his seat as his half of the plane spun out of control. He had a moment to experience the shocking cold of the atmosphere this high up, before hypoxia and death followed quickly on each other’s heels.


One thousand years it had stood, soaking in the sun, drinking the rain, on its perch on the tumbled rocky slopes.

It did not take one thousand cuts to fell it.


Could one more monument have saved him? Would one more golden statue in his likeness have made him complete? Perhaps one more sonnet dedicated to his name? Or one more piece of art in his gallery?

The King drew his last breath, despairing that he would never know.


With one last bellow of frustration, Abigail fell to the blood soaked ground, overwhelmed at last, the great gleaming green jewel forever out of her reach.


This wasn’t so bad. Soft bed. Bright blue sky out of a window scrubbed so clean as to be invisible. As much morphine as you wanted. No responsibilities.

If only there were more time to enjoy it properly.


There is a height which is high enough to kill a falling cat, but not high enough to give the cat a chance to prepare for the fall and land in a non-lethal (to the cat) manner.

The bird, on the other hand, got away.


The bright sparkled upon the sand; the wet hummed peacefully as it washed over it and retreated, washed and retreated.

Himself waddled under the shade of the leaves. There were tasty seeds here. So many tasty seeds. Dig, dig, gulp.

Something big, there. Himself gave it a passing glance. What a big bird!

What a loud sound! Ouch! Himself’s legs weren’t working. Himself collapsed, squawking weakly. So much ouch!


Witches are made primarily of piss and vinegar, so you should know it wasn’t the water that did it, but the soda wash Dorothy was using to clean the floor.